The Kept Media, hurricanes, and the wine in front of me

I’m just trying to keep straight what Pravda expects from presidents, presidential candidates, major party decision-makers, and major party chairmen when a hurricane hits, especially during a Republican convention. Should they cancel or delay conventions? Should they visit the disaster zone immediately to show their great concern? Should they wait awhile so as to not allow their presence (and attendant security measures) to interfere with rescue and recovery operations?

Judging by past behavior of the Kept Media, apparently …. yes! Or…….. no!

Actually it makes perfect sense if you let this scene from Princess Bride be your guide:
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Got it? Now let’s let history teach us how to please the Kept Media when hurricanes and politics intersect, which is pretty much any time the Democrats want it to:

• In 2005 President Bush did not land in the NOLA (New Orleans, LA) area within 3 days of Hurricane Katrina (and specifically and correctly said it was because his entourage and security would be a huge charlie-foxtrot and would be grossly counter-productive). Pravda crucified him for years, for being so uncaring. So I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.
• In 2008 as Hurricane Gustav was approaching NOLA at about the start of the GOP Convention, former DNC Chairman Don Fowler was caught on video (h/t Caleb Howe) laughing at the timing. “That just illustrates God is on our [Democrat’s] side. Everything’s cool.” While the right-side New Media went crazy with it, and that youtube became famous, the Kept Media made little note, mainly running his apology as their “coverage” of the whole thing. But hey, the Dems are much more caring than the Repubs. So I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you.
• During the relatively minor Hurricane Isaac this week that hit well west of NOLA, some charlie-sierra idiot from the Kept Media said in live coverage of the Repub Convention “Republicans are happy to have a party while black people are drowning.” This was also while His Majesty was somewhere up north fundraising and campaigning but apparently he is deeply concerned with people. This talking chimpanzee, I think his name was Chalain, was summarily fired (good for Yahoo) but this incident of course is no sign that Pravda is biased or kept. Just a little brush fire. Romney still hates black people. So I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.
• Immediately after the convention (and 5 days after the hurricane hit) Romney surprised everybody and headed for NOLA. BAM! Remember that this was 5 days after a Category-1 (relatively mild) hurricane hit 100 miles west of NOLA. Naturally the Kept Media were all up his keester because he’d just be in the way of recovery efforts. He’s concerned? Nah, he’s a Republican, he can’t care about all those poor drowning brown people. So I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you.
• Meanwhile His Royal Majesty and his handlers were still campaigning and fundraising up north, but hey, I think they might have sent out a memo expressing how deeply they cared about the people of Louisiana, so clearly he cares. Deeply! But at least today they were astute enough to see how they got played by Romney, so they (a) announced that His Royal Majesty had changed plans and would be headed to NOLA on Monday, and (b) this had already been decided before it came out that Romney was headed there today, so hey, no, we’re not following. We’re LEADING! Romney probably got the idea from US. And naturally, no word from the Kept Media that (a) that is just stupid or (b) His Royal Majesty will just “be in everybody’s way”. So I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.

Those readers who know how the above scene from Princess Bride ends will understand how the PravdaMedia™ play this: if you are the Republican, it doesn’t matter which goblet of wine you drink from. They’re both poisoned.